Sunday 26 February 2012

Tales from the Ugly Kitchen

Have I already said that I'm crap at food photography? Well, here you are: I'm crap at food photography.
I was just browsing my homepage on that Totally Useless Social Network whose name begins with F (and which I only keep updating because 99% of my friends are overseas and I have almost no time to sit down and write as many proper e-mails as I'd like to), and came across a photo album from a girl with whom I went to school; well, you should have seen her cupcakes. And her cakes. Fucking amazing. I felt like crap just because my attempts at cooking decent food sometimes are actually a success, but god forbid that I can take anything near a decent picture.

That's quite frustrating, as I'm usually not that bad at photography (aka I'd lie if I said I'm good, but saying I'm rubbish wouldn't be truthful either. The discomfort of mediocrity, huh?). I can only blame my kitchen, which is, indeed, quite squalid: it is big, it does have almost all the kitchen tools I'd dream of (apart from my baking set, which I sadly had to leave in Italy), it even has a dishwasher (and no, I still can't believe it)...but, to be frank, it looks disappointingly dreary.
Another reason, I guess, why I'm so much looking forward to having my own home: I can only imagine the feeling of bliss and self-fulfillment I'll have when (and if ever) I'll be able to live in anything different than a house with awfully coloured carpets, year-old furniture from the charity shop's bargain aisle and poor lighting at any time of the day. Dream on, right.

I still don't know where I would like this next house to be. You have to choose carefully, if your goal is to find somewhere nice enough to want to stay for more than one convenient year.
Right, it's not going to be Saint John's Wood, or Chelsea - I really wish I could. But there must be a compromise between, say, Chelsea and Wood Green, and that's what I'm determined to find.
(What do I have against Wood Green? Well, I used to live in Wood Green, for one. Sometimes creepy was just not enough to describe the scenes that unfolded before my eyes when I walked back home from class at 10pm, and I still can't forget the sense of overwhelming fear I felt during last summer's riots, when no one but myself walking back fom the library was out on the streets after 4pm, and each and every siren, at night, woke me up with a start).

This said, I'll resume the Dream Home Quest in a few months, I suppose, when I'll have actually started my search. For now, let's just move on to food: you're probably not expecting a savoury recipe, but surprise, there it is!

Ricotta and Salmon Crepes


Let's be straightforward about this: I love crepes. I especially love sweet crepes, and particularly nutella crepes (which is not surprising, because I love everything sweet, and is surprising at the same time, because I'm not even a nutella fan); to me, they are somewhat like Proust's madeleines, an echo of when I was a child and my dad used to take me out in town for a snack: a lucky coincidence made us discover the only place in town where you could sit down and get one (and I usually had two), and that must have been well after my first trip to Paris, where my 10-year-old self first ate a crepe, but well before my awkward first date, as in one of my rare flashes of genius my 15-year-old self proposed we have a chocolate crepe, but the place had finally closed for good (Um, well, alright, let's have coffee then. Oh, you don't drink it. You surely don't mind if I get one, do you?).

As I can't cook the food I grew up with, because  my heart would break if the outcome didn't meet the memories and expectations, I can't get myself to cook sweet crepes at home. So I taught myself savoury crepes; and I learnt so well that, back in Italy, my mother would often ask me to cook them for family lunches, hoping to amaze my uncle, who's usually a far better cook than the both of us together. Needless to say, he turned out to be not a crepe fan. But the other Great Cook in our family tree, my grandma, would invariably giggle and say hoooney, I can't believe you cooked these crrrrepppps on your own!, and that was well worth the effort (at least for her hilarious attempts at French diction).

First of all, however, I had to learn crepe batter. And the credit for that goes to my flatmate back when I was in France; hope I'll soon gather the courage to try her Quiche Lorraine as well (after four years - it's never too late,right?).

For about 4 big or 6 medium crepes, you will need:

- 2 eggs;
- 1 pinch of salt;
- 100g flour;
- 1.5dl milk.
(add sugar if you want the batter to be sweet)

And the procedure is quite easy: you'll only have to beat the eggs and the salt together, in a bowl, and mix the flour and milk in another bowl. Finally, mix the contents of the two bowls together, and leave aside for 30 minutes, to rest: the batter is done!
The challenge is cooking the crepes: if you have a crepière - which I did, in Italy - and a special palette to spread the batter (it looks like this), it's fairly easy, as you'll only need to spread the batter evenly on the greased surface, wait until the crepe is solid enough for you to turn it, and cook it on the other side until it's ready.
If you don't have a crepiere and a palette, though - which is the case for me now -, you'll have to use a normal nonstick pan (always greased with some oil) and whatever kitchen tool you think will help you turn the crepes without tearing a hole in the middle (I usually do it with two forks; it took me a little practice and a lot of broken crepes and swearing, but I can assure you it works). Also, pans are usually smaller then crepieres, and without a palette it's harder to spread the batter, so it's very likely that, when you use a pan, you'll have thicker and more irregular crepes: far from 100% perfection, but still tasty.

Breathe easy, now, the hardest part is over! Let's crack on with the rest.
I tried many savoury fillings, but this is my favourite: ricotta and salmon are quite an unbeatable combination, as far as I'm concerned.

To prepare it, you'll only need to mix 150g ricotta cheese with a little skimmed milk, until you obtain a smooth cream, and then add 1 teaspoon lemon juice and 200g finely chopped salmon.
Assuming that you have already cooked the crepes, you'll then need to put each of them on a ramekin (again, greased with oil) - but not inside the ramekin yet.
Split the batter evenly, putting a few spoonfuls in the middle of each crepe, and then, very carefully, push the crepes into the ramekins, so that the borders remain out of it, like in the picture.
Last step, now: put the ramekins in the oven, which you will have pre-heated to 200°, and cook for 10 minutes, or until the borders turn into a golden brown crust. Serve very hot: the crepes are thin, and tend to cool down very quickly.

That's it, and that's a quite quick and easy idea for a main. I first tried it on a surprise lunch I had organised for my mother's birthday, and it worked almost better than the actual gift.
Should you happen to have any spare batter, and wonder what to do with it...well, I'll give you a hint: chocolate.
I don't think I need to say any more.